I’ve had this post sitting in my drafts for about a week now because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to post it. Still not sure honestly but here goes nothing….
Beautiful Brown Girls September brunch honored Casandra Roache who is an awesome wellness/life coach here in the South Florida area. At the brunch Casandra did an awesome 30 minute talk about her business, her life experience, how a lot of things we do are learned behaviors stemming from things we learned and saw growing up, and how that connects with us as we get older.
Her talk REALLY hit home for me. There was a lot of things in my path that I let affect me and used as a crutch. I was ready to face my past and use it as a teaching moment and not a hindrance. As a younger kid (around my middle school years) My family and I were homeless for about 4 years. We lived in a prostitute infested motel for about 3 years, in and out of homeless shelters within that time, and rented rooms from time to time too. Imagine 5 people (occasionally my cousin lived with us too, so really 6) staying in one room together LITERALLY for 4 years straight. It was definitely rough but through it all my family stuck together.
I hid our homelessness from everyone, friends, teachers, etc. I wanted to make sure I painted that pretty picture of everything being fine, while deep inside and behind closed doors everything wasn’t alright. It was a tough situation to go through. However through it all I’m grateful. Sometimes people don’t understand my happiness, my gratefulness, and my way of thinking, because they don’t know my full story. I know what it feels like when you put on that happy front and have issues behind it all, and is why I now make sure to go above and beyond to always do and say things through a place of love and comfort with everyone I meet whether its a good or bad experience. I was able to finally embrace my past and let it be a life lesson for me and not a heartache. It taught me real, genuine, authentic, LOVE.
This also reminded me of a passage I read at one of my favorite sites Then Life Happens:
A friend said to me, “Every once in awhile I just wish my life would unfold normally like everyone else’s”. This got me thinking. Does he think that life for most of us adheres to a grand script or user manual, unfolding “like everyone else”, and leading to health, happiness, and prosperity?
I quickly responded, “Normal? Everyone else? That life doesn’t exist… No one’s life unfolds normally.”
All the observations we make of the lives being lead by others get jumbled up in our heads to create a perception of normal…and it is only perception. No one’s journey is like “everyone’s” journey. There is no normal set of circumstances that lead you to a normal life. Life Happens differently for everyone.
In fact, I think living with a hope of reducing the drama or feeling sorry for yourself because of some set of circumstances is a self-limiting, defeatist way of life. Don’t wish to live the life of everyone else because such a life doesn’t exist.
Instead, embrace the path you’re on.
We all have a story good, bad, and/or ugly ones and they’ve all shaped us to who we are today but I finally understood why I went through those things years ago. I’m able to embrace the preparation that I was being put through to live the life I live today. Embrace the path you’re on!