Yesterday, I looked through my past blog posts and I noticed I’ve been writing reflection posts for each year since 2012 and I haven’t done that for 2014 yet. More so because I was scared it would sound exactly like what I wrote in 2012. That isn’t a bad thing just makes me wonder am I really grasping these life lessons and changing or on a hamster wheel again. Just being honest. We want to change, we get really pumped about changing, and then we settle. One thing I learned about myself for sure this year is when I get in a comfortable pattern I stay there. I refuse to even think of changing. I mean I block the entire thought out and you have to drag me to change kicking and screaming! For example something SUPER practical. I broke my phone screen 2 months ago. Yea SMH at myself. I really wanted to fix the phone, I thought about it a lot, I said to my friends a few times that I would and THEN my eyes got comfortable looking at the broken screen and ALL of sudden it became normal to me and the idea of fixing it totally got pushed off my to do list. Imagine what happens with even bigger situations in my life. Once I feel comfortable in it, change, growth, etc. gets pushed off the list. ‘Let’s just leave it be’ I tell myself. It’s fine. But guess what…….IT IS BROKEN!!!
We lie to ourselves all the time. Daily. Weekly. Monthly. Yearly. Not to be a Debbie downer here but just getting really real with a lot of situations that I do and I’ve seen others do and I’m tired of soothing the pain and not attacking the problem.
SO HERE we go with my reflection piece (I know after that LONG rant right lol) 2014 I settled.
Pretty simple and sums up a lot of things. Not everything. Don’t get me wrong there were major milestones in my business, personal life that happened, I’m not discrediting those things, and I am definitely grateful for them. But for 2015 I want to pay attention to what’s broken. I’m not settling for looking at a cracked screen anymore…I want the best. The ABSOLUTE best. It’s really an epiphany moment in your life when you go into that quiet space and get really real with yourself an actually believe that you DESERVE the best. We’re our own worst enemy, critic, judge, and jury sometimes, hell most of the time. We know the issues, we know there are solutions, and we choose to just bandage it up for a quick fix, an instant gratification moment, but then the wound grows…. and then 10 years later we what in the world do I have to show for myself at this age? Easy answer we’ve been living through a lot of QUICK FIX/INSTANT GRATIFICATION moments … and we got comfortable working with broken screens as long as it “worked”.
2015 = that doesn’t WORK anymore for me! This year I’m calling myself out for sailing through 2014 on a wish and a prayer. This year I look forward to actively creating life long fixes, and happiness that lasts a lifetime, and doing the work. I hope you are too.
Wishing you nothing but an abundance of love in your life. Happy New Year!